Bridesmaid dresses

I thought wearing matching bridesmaid dresses would trigger old insecurities. Actually, I loved it

My best friend Ellen officially asked me to be her maid of honor before she even had a ring on her finger. The proposal happened 10 minutes before she proposed to me over FaceTime, but she still had to decide on the diamond. Of course, I agreed as quickly as she did.

We were always the friends who talked about our wedding day,

and her desire to have representatives of her time in high school,

college (me!), college, and career by her side was always clear. Bridesmaids, and lots of them, were always part of the equation.

She may have changed her mind about suitors, cake pops (remember those?) and roses instead of peonies, but she never hesitated when it came to having her group of friends around her or marrying Emilia Wickstead, which she is one of the few did. times weeks ago, on May 20.

Ellen picked out her dress quickly and feverishly, excited that a bridal ivory ready-to-wear style would appear. Their vision was for something that seemed a bit old-fashioned, but was also clean, simple and understated. However, finding what she wanted for her six bridesmaids was not so easy.

In recent years, “matchy-matchy” dresses for adult bridesmaids have become less common, creating a trend for matching or even clashing dresses that suit each person.

But Ellen had seen a vintage photo of girls

in matching looks that she absolutely loved,

so we set about finding a dress that would fit all six of us. I can’t express enough how grateful I am that it was important to her that her bridesmaids also liked what we wore that day – something we felt comfortable in when we shot and maybe in the future we’ll wear sometime.

Finding a dress that flatters six different people proves to be a challenge.

Some were way too bridesmaid-like. Slip dresses in satin were not part of the collection from the beginning, nor were they something that would be ruined by a single drop of rain.

By this point we already knew the wedding would be in our home town of Gower, and growing up in Wales we had learned a lot about which fabrics are unsuitable for wet climates. One that looked perfect online was way too casual in real life,

while another would have been way too good for the bride’s tight dress. At one point, Ellen bought a vintage Vogue pattern on Etsy with the idea of ​​having it made

Then one day we found it

: a blue floral brocade A-line model with a full

, flowing skirt and a nicely corseted waist. I tried it and felt great. But when the pictures of the five other girls in their dresses came to our WhatsApp group, I also realized that I would be the subject of a comparison on a like-for-like basis (even if it was only in my own head).

I stopped myself from obsessively zooming in to compare how it fit them and me. It hurt a bit when some had to change to smaller sizes while I was doing this

Had to take a size bigger. The number on a label doesn’t usually bother me, but this brought out my uncertainty.

I knew I couldn’t be unhappy about it. Ellen had chosen the best bridesmaid dress for me. It was a design similar to my usual wedding guest design. And yet, I was afraid that the matching styles would send me into a spiral of self-loathing and ruin this special occasion.

I didn’t think anyone else would care about my appearance, but I have always been my harshest and most relentless critic. As someone who writes about clothes for a living and thinks about fashion more or less 24/7, I’ve long enjoyed and thought about dressing.

Clothes are my armor, a means of expression and a source of pleasure, but that was another story.

The wedding day came quickly.

As we slipped into our dresses, zipped each other up, puffed up our skirts, and straightened our straps, my worries completely vanished—instead, they were replaced with a sweet sense of camaraderie. After all, the dress wasn’t the only thing we had in common at that moment; We also wanted to make sure that everything went perfectly and that Ellen’s vision was implemented as brilliantly as possible.

As the day went on, my worries faded away. I even enjoyed meeting my bridesmaids, who among the wedding guests could easily be identified as Ellen’s closest – a title we carried with pride. When the first dance was over and I had a moment to myself, I realized something.

Wearing this dress gave me much more than just sentimental memories and perfect pictures. It helped me understand that communicating who I am—my values ​​and my personality—is about more than just the flowy Molly Goddard skirts that I love. Clothes, dresses, shoes, bags and other accessories are my greatest loves, but they are not the reason my friends and family love me. I know now that I have more to offer than being the (only) one in a pretty dress. However, I don’t plan on coordinating date times with my friends anytime soon.

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